As some of you may know, Ha_Safran is adopted. It is a complicated (and interesting) story that I am not going to get into at this point--it is, after all, his story to tell. However, with his permission, I wanted to write about a situation we are currently going through. You see, Ha_Safran's birth father is dying of cancer.
This birth father, and by extension a birth sister and various other birth relatives have requested Ha_Safran to visit one more time. While the visit may or may not be, from our perspective, one of absolution, I think it is both from the birth father and the birth family's perspective, even though Ha_Safran does not have the ability to offer this absolution, and yet I think that is what they are intending. His visit, should he chose to go, will be more about some sort of closure for him, I think, and knowing that he won't regret not going in the future.
While I can only begin to imagine the mental anguish this situation causes Ha_Safran, I am surprised by my own bitterness toward the situation. It is not that I am bitter that he was given up for adoption, as I am not. Nor am I upset at Ha_Safran for choosing to go, if he wants. But the request itself bothers me, and I can't quite figure out why.